Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
