"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
