This girl is more easily done than said...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
