it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
