Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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