...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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