i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
