There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
i think im in europe. pls send help
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
