If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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