omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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