i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
