are you still at the devil's house?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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