Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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