Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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