i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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