you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
