is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
