And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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