She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
So squirting runs in the family.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
