My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
