omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
