You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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