My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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