I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
