So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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