i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
