He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
