At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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