Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
