He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
