Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
