fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
But break dance skills will only take you so far
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
