im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
