why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
