You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize