Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
