I heard we made out
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
it was like his penis was on wheels.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
