I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
