Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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