That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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