that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
