That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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