I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
