you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
