Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
