belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
