The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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