They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize