someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
