Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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