did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
